All of my life
I was told that I was special
That I was placed on this Earth
To change it
All of my life I was told
That I was special
It is something that many children
Grow up hearing
Proud parents with grand dreams
Whisper this to their child with every breath
Thinking that their child will actually be different
That they will actually be special
All of my life
I was told that I was special
That I was placed on this Earth
To change it
All of my life I was told
That I was special
Most children just shrug it off
And realize the dream for what it is,
Just a dream
But for me
It was my mission
This idea, that I could actually make a difference
Was my motivator
All of my life
I was told that I was special
That I was placed on this Earth
To change it
All of my life I was told
That I was special
I have personally seen miracles in my life
I have seen You move in such ways
That I didn’t know were possible
Every piece of me
That I didn’t understand
I see Your reasoning behind it
I see your purpose in my limitations
And seeing you move in these grand ways
Only solidified my belief that maybe
In Your eyes
That You did have special plans for me
All of my life
I was told that I was special
That I was placed on this Earth
To change it
All of my life I was told
That I was special
As time has passed in my life
More miracles and more dreams
Mark my life
You put it on my heart to be Your hands and feet
Giving physical and spiritual healing
To Your children that need it most
Again, feeling empowered
I dive deep into Your plans for my life
All of my life
I was told that I was special
That I was placed on this Earth
To change it
All of my life I was told
That I was special
Then, almost instantaneously
My child-like reality crumbled
I saw for the first time
Just how powerful evil is in this world
And how in the places that need You most
You seem eerily nonexistent
And the weight of the task
You set before me
Is bigger than anything I have ever faced before.
The hope that I once had in myself
Fades
With each failed attempt of the people
That have gone before me
I see a people that are in such desperate need of you
But where are You?
How is it that a place that needs You so much
Does not have you,
While places that don’t need You as much
Have a lot of You?
There are more failed attempts
Than triumphs
People that have been led by You,
Much like myself,
Have failed.
And at what cost?
In a world that squashes
What little good exists
Why do You continue to ask us
To sacrifice everything
To gain nothing?
God, how come is it
That I can clearly see you moving in big ways
In my life
And the lives of my friends and family
But that I can’t see you moving
At all
in other places?
Surely You don’t choose to move in my
Life
And not in others?
And I know You are big enough to triumph
Over the evil that persists,
So why don’t You?
God, where are You?
I scream these questions into the air
And receive nothing
Except the words
I am special.
Compared to the weight of the evil
That You are asking me to face,
Compared to the world that
Diminishes me and
Demeans me and
laughs in my face
and my naïve hope that I am in fact special,
how is it still that
engraved on my heart is the promise that I am special?
My only conclusion
Is that the promise that I am special
And the hope that I am made to do more,
Is a promise that comes from You.
So
During the rest of my life
I will proclaimed to the world
That I am special.
I will declare that I am placed on this Earth
To change it.
And For the rest of my life
I will proclaim to this unbelieving world,
That I am special,
Because I know
That what makes me special
Is You.